Mona Lisa meets Venus de Milo

Another artistic highlight from the corridors of St. Lymphoma's
Enjoy!

A Pain in the Backside

Today was bone marrow biopsy day.......oh joy!

It went something like this.........

A little waiting around
A little time spent finding a suitable vein for the cannula
A little more waiting, enlivened by the perusal of property porn in the form of last week's 'Country Life'.
(I presume this magazine must actually be read by people who are not waiting for unpleasant medical procedures, but, I must confess, I associate it only with the scent of disinfectant and, its eternal waiting room companion, 'The People's Friend')


Then finally into a side room, lay down, have 10ml of something or other injected via the cannula and then wake up an hour and a half later with a large plaster on my behind.



NB:
I'm not sure what language the label on this diagram is in but I can nonetheless offer the following rough translation:

OOUCCHH!



Regrettably your roving reporter forgot to take his camera on this occasion, thus the need for international pictorial assistance. I must also report that my opportunities for candid shots are likely to be limited now, as Saint Lymphoma's doctors and nurses have been seen taking sneaky peeks at this bulletin since it's online publication, and some of them may not want to be featured in all their glory (or in their uniforms - thank you, Kavi) - I shall just have to be more cunning in future!

Bone marrow samples normally take around a week to analyse apparently, so the results should be available at my appointment with Le Grand Fromage on 2nd June.

So, having been sedated, speared, then woken and given the obligatory cup of tea, I was driven home by Jessica and went back to sleep for a couple of hours as I was still feeling a little drowsy from the anaesthetic.

I was woken up by Morgan who had done a fine drawing of a snake for me - see below - which I must confess I struggled to appreciate as much as I might have because of the rather large ache coming from my rear. This has now subsided somewhat and, if I remember correctly, should be gone in two or three days.
I hope so!


I've been feeling much better over the last week than I have for a long time. Having apparently reached the end of this phase of chemo, I can at last take control over my life, and my body, again.

I've been out for a couple of walks/runs and been swimming and I can't tell you how fantastic it feels just to be able to do those kind of things again, not to mention taking a more active role with Morgan . Obviously my fitness is not what it was, (in fact it's terrible!) but at least I know I'm not going to be poisoned again next week, and that means I can actually take some exercise and start trying to get back to the level I was at in December before all this landed upon me.

So, no more appointments now until the CT scan on the 1st June, .......and then....... the crunch.




Whilst searching for suitable images to accompany this post, I came across the following tempting looking orange button offering the opportunity to watch a free demonstration video. Given that I'd done an image search using the term 'bone marrow biopsy', I was a little surprised to find this on the first page of my results!

Well, I just had to have a look didn't I?

Wouldn't you?

What do you know! You can train to perform a bone marrow biopsy yourself online. Wow! Is there no end to what you can do with technology these days?
I will, of course, be visiting http://proficientprocedures.com to avail myself of this great opportunity, so that next time I'll be able to do the job myself - with the aid of a knitting needle, a mirror and a large bottle of whisky.

Alternatively, if you have a 'medical procedure' coming up yourself why not do as they suggest!!?!

Or not..........







More anon when the shit hits the fan...................................................................................................

An Early Summer Afternoon in London

Raindrops on roses and teardrops on kittens,
Ten plastic dinosaurs wearing green mittens,
Builders from Poland all banging next door,
I think I'll go lay in my bed and snore.......

The Eternal Truths of Life: Part One.......

EXTERMINATE!!!

Bulletin Nine: The Pulp Fiction Edition

Hello from all here at St. Lymphoma’s, and welcome to this the ‘Pulp Fiction’ edition of my medical bulletin.

Those of a nervous disposition should not be worried. My choice of title does not reflect a shift towards graphic depictions of sex and violence!

Issue Eight found me clearer in mind, following my discussions with Le Grand Fromage, and awaiting the last of my poisonings, which was carried out on the 9th May (one week ago today).



I must have become very blasé about it all as I completely forgot to go in the day before to get my blood count checked. This meant I had an earlier start than usual as I needed this test completed before I could go ahead with the treatment. All went much as before, although I was sent home without any medication – which I also failed to notice…….I think my brain power is diminishing rapidly with each dose. Thankfully that should be the last one, but I’ll know more later this month.

So, there we go…….

Since my treatment I’ve felt very tired and pretty nauseous – something which seems to have got worse as the treatment cycle has progressed. Jessica reports that it sounds very like being pregnant, but I am happy to report that my bulge seems to have reduced in size rather than grown over the last few months, so we can rule that complication out.


As some of you may have noticed I’ve finally got the rest of the Bulletins up on the net. It’s been strange reading through them. For a start, I had forgotten quite how long this has been going on for. I couldn’t believe I’d had the first of my chemo poisonings in January – no wonder I’m heartily sick of being sick.

My attitude seems to have changed too, but gradually, without my noticing it. When I read back to my first treatment what I wrote was, unsurprisingly, full of anger and fear. Both those emotions seem to have drifted away from me, and now what I feel is frustration primarily, that I’m unable to do anything at all except sit in front of the computer……….. and sleep.

Of course, I’m putting out of my mind all of the various possibilities that may arise as a result of my forthcoming tests, and focussing solely on getting this part of the treatment over with. As Jessica would tell you, when it comes to not worrying about what I can’t control (i.e. putting my head in the sand) I’m truly world class, and I intend to make full use of this skill over the next few weeks.


I’m sure that fear and anger will return from time to time, but at the moment they’re in abeyance, probably because I’m assuming that, whether I achieve full or partial remission, I will at least get some break from treatment.

If this turns out not to be the case then I shall certainly be angry, frightened and very upset – not that any of those emotions will do me the slightest good of course, as I’ll just have to grit my teeth and get on with it as before.

I guess that’s what is described as ‘fighting’ cancer.




So, some dates for the sicky diary……….


Blood test – Thurday 18th May – This should be routine. They’ve tested bloods a week after each poisoning so that if my neutrophil levels drop too far they can give me a booster prior to the next poisoning. As I’m done with the chemo for now (apparently), I’m not quite sure what the purpose of this test is on this occasion, but ‘ours not to reason why’……..

Bone Marrow Biopsy – Tuesday 23rd May – My second one of these, but the first since the start of treatment. If it’s anything like the last one I’ll be guaranteed a nice mid-morning snooze for a couple of hours and a large bruise on my hip.



CT Scan – Thursday 1st June






Consultant’s Appointment – Friday 2nd June – to discuss the test results and decide what happens next









What busy lives we sick people lead…..I just don’t know how I shall fit it all in.

Thanks once again to everyone for your help and support.

All chants, prayers, crossed appendages, and any other expressions of superstitious goodwill will be gladly accepted.

Love


Dave

Take These Chains From My Spleen and Set Me Free.............

Bulletin Eight: Where is it?

Back down the page between Bulletins One and Two of course - where else?

Bulletin Seven: March 2006

Just click on a page to zoom in and read

Bulletin Six: March 2006

Just click on a
page to zoom
in and read

Bulletin Five: February 2006

Just click on a page to zoom in and read

Bulletin Four: February 2006

Just click on the page
to zoom in and read

Bulletin Three: Appendix One: The Drugs

Just click on a page
to zoom in and read

































































My apologies for not citing the sources for some of the research mentioned in this post. When this was written it was really only for private consumption!

Bulletin Three: January 2006

Just click on a page to zoom in and read

Bulletin Two (part 2): January 2006

And here's the rest!

Just click to read.

Bulletin Two (part 1): January 2006

Hurrah! - Technical difficulties resolved................
I am delighted to be able to bring you the missing issues of the St. Lymphoma's saga.

As with Issue One, you'll find that each page is in picture format so just click on the page to zoom in and read.

P.S. I got rather carried away with my photography in this one, which has necessitated splitting the issue into two posts.

My apologies if each page takes some time to load........................., but then again consider yourself lucky: the original issue was sent out in the form of a monster Email attachment which may still not have reached the inboxes of the unfortunate recipients!